Living On Purpose: How Oprah Provided A Pathway To My Destiny4/06/2011
September 2010 was an awesome month for me. Wait! Let us back track. The entire year of 2010 was an...
September 2010 was an awesome month for me. Wait! Let us back track. The entire year of 2010 was an awesome year for me. 2010 is the year that I decided to live on purpose. This was the year that I made it a point to not make sense. Does that make sense? I made wonderful bonds with friends that I will have for a lifetime. I strengthened the love that I have for family and friends. I repaired broken friendships even. There is no need to say names. My friends complete who I am.
I started the year off bumpy. Like many, I had a generic New Year’s Eve resolution. Mine were so silly that I cannot even remember what they were. Not until March did it hit me. I wasn’t living. LIVING?! I was going through personal issues that I allowed to stunt my growth. I decided to make a change.
So I up and moved from the midwest. It brings me much joy to say it outloud. Just up and moved. Whatever didn't fit in my car I didn't take it. The East Coast is my new home. Why do you ask? Because I want too, and I can.
I set my life up for this moment. For example, I was an outstanding student in high school. I made the decision as a 16 year old girl (key word GIRL) to live on my own in an entirely different state from any sort of parental guidance. In fact, I was homeless as a teenager. Not until I was an adult could I admit that to anyone. I made that decision not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I knew the sacrifices that I made were going to pay off. They did. I received a full academic scholarship to college. There again I set myself up for this move. All of this was done on purpose. I knew the power of education. So now, I have the leisure of packing up and moving knowing that I can secure a job anywhere that I want.
I need everyone to pay attention to what’s happening in my life. There are few coincidences. I said to anyone that would listen that I was about to change. My character and personality would remain the same. The change that I was speaking about was the change of my actions. I wanted to act different, so I did just that. I no longer wanted to make sense to everyone else. I no longer wanted to have step 1, 2, and 3 meticulously mapped out. Most of my family and friends can tell anyone who asks. I have the “it” factor. There is no doubt about it. I can achieve anything that I put my mind up to. Success has never been at a distance. The change led me to one of the greatest gifts that I will ever receive. A trip of a lifetime with Oprah and 302 amazing people.
The day that I found out Oprah was retiring I cried my eyes out. I had to be consoled by too many close friends to count. I sat on my living room floor as a 25 year old woman and wept. Sure, people made fun of me. To me Oprah retiring represented so much more. When I was a young woman and there was no skype or internet chat, Oprah was the face that I saw every day. My mother was not. She taught me life lessons. One of the biggest lessons that I learned was watching a show and she told a little girl who had been struggling with self esteem issues to hold her head up. She told her that her head being held high was like smiling. She also went on to tell her that she came from an ancestry of African kings and queens and to always remember that. The girl held her head up and smiled. As an adolescent, I had a chipped tooth. Often times I was ashamed to smile. Kids can be cruel even when they don’t intend to scar you. Oprah made me hold my head high. There are many times to this day when I feel down even when I can’t smile, I make sure that I am staring you right in the eye.
It all came so sudden. I was at home. After months talking to my friends about how I was no matter what going to make it on the show, I wrote a letter. It poured from my heart. I sat on my floor at home and shared my inner most personal thoughts about this woman that impacted me so dearly. None of it was made up. I pressed send. Less than a week later I got a response. First, it was a call. I missed it. Then, I received a follow-up email. The woman happened to be named Shelly out of all names ask why hadn’t I called her back. I told her if I knew that someone from the Oprah Show was calling, “I would have answered from my mother’s funeral!” So I went. Not only did I win a trip, but I hugged her. #faint
I deserved the trip. I paid my dues. Respect was given and returned. I deserved the trip because it was mine to have. I claimed it before I knew it existed. Once again, I note that I set myself up for this. Once I made my mind up that I was going to live so much fell into place. Talk about speaking things into existence.
I learned so much in those 10 days being a part from my comfort zone. I learned that If you have never been anywhere you don’t have the perspective needed to view the world through others eyes. I took from the trip that it is time to let go of everyone’s DREAMS and DREAM for myself! Wow. What an “Aha” moment to have.
I also learned that the happiness that I have is a direct reflection of my heart. Yes, that’s an Oprah quote. What a life changing experience I have. I am forever grateful. I want to stress that it truly changed who I am. Shocked me to the core. I no longer have the patience for doubt and stagnancy. It is not who I am. I have a purpose in life and I intend to find it. SOON! In this move to the east coast I am not taking belongings. Whatever doesn’t fit in my car, I don’t need it. I am taking what means the most to me: health, mind, and spirit. None of these can be broken. All of these are consistent to who I am.
On the trip I met my Renata. I can say that I am in love for the very first time. Love is a powerful emotion that I have been missing. I love my family and friends with all my heart. To be in love is a separate effect. I now can proudly say that I know how it feels. Let me also say this: Question yourself. If you met someone who came and turned your world upside down, embraced you for exactly who you are, and promised to be your all are you ready for it? I mean truly ready today?
I am following my instincts on this one. I am preparing for the future. It looks bright. I again told everyone that would listen that after all these years I was ready for love. So when it happened I 100% embraced her. She is wonderful. She is everything that I expect her to be. We are meant to be. As it should be. She accepts me for exactly who I am. It feels good. I can now as a mature adult handle the emotions of love and all that is has to offer. Most of all I appreciate her. As woman. As mother. As a lover.
My name is Honey Bii and I am the self proclaimed voice to the black lesbian community. I am a young ambitious go getter. I am looking forward to building an audience that appreciates my content of substance. My goals are to inspire, teach, and learn. You can visit my blog at JustAskHoneyBii.blogspot.com