How to Get Revenge Without Getting Your Soul Dirty2/19/2013
The idea of revenge has never appealed to me. It involves time, effort and planning -- and I hate to plan things. Especially dark, vengeful...
The idea of revenge has never appealed to me. It involves time, effort and planning -- and I hate to plan things. Especially dark, vengeful things. I was taught, as you probably were, to forgive and forget. To turn the other cheek. I was taught that the person who forgives is stronger than the person who retaliates. Spiritually, this feels right.
But what about justice? If you're a human being, there's part of you that craves fairness. There's part of you that thinks that an eye for an eye feels right under certain circumstances. No? Maybe you are way more enlightened than I am. When I hear about the evil things that people do in the world, the anger and disgust that I feel is potent. I can see how hatred can well up inside of people and cause destructive behavior.
Crimes against humanity aside, on a more everyday level, most of us have someone that causes us anger or resentment for something they’ve done in the past. I don't care how enlightened you are, this problem can cause us to walk around with negative feelings built up inside distracting us from being great. And why should we let that happen? That means that they win. As usual, I have suggestions.
The best way to get revenge is to open your heart, choose love and forgive. This is also the most difficult. If you have a solid spiritual foundation or simply strive to be a good person, then you know that bitterness is toxic and ultimately will eat you up. You have to let go. It helps to think beyond your emotions and be curious about human nature and what causes people to do things. If you can consider what this person has gone through to make them behave this way, you're on the right track. People who are hurting tend to hurt other people. Revenge is stopping the cycle of resentment and retaliation.
Think of the object of your vengeance as the negative behavior itself -- not the person who acted it out. Let's talk about energy. Negative behavior adds to the bad energy in the world, and positive behavior adds to the good energy in the world. The sweetest revenge is not falling for the temptation to add to the negativity but instead choosing to create love from a bad situation. You might think that your situation doesn't make a difference to society as a whole, but it does. Multiply it times all the people in the world and you'll see why we live in such a divided world. Revenge is removing the anger from your heart and making the world a little bit less angry as a result.
Relish the opportunity to distinguish yourself and set an example. Inspire someone. Be the change you wish to see. The person who has wronged you is a human being who is obviously suffering -- even if they don't acknowledge it -- and your hatred serves as fuel to the tension that drives them. It's destructive and will eventually consume them if they don't choose to heal. While that might feel good to you in a spiteful way, if you look at it without your pain attached to it -- hurting another person is never good for you. It's a prison. It impairs your behavior. It distracts you from your purpose, from your happiness. How can you inspire yourself or anyone else if you are using your energy to hate? Revenge is choosing to be free and teaching by example.
Do you think this sounds preachy and unrealistic? Not my intention, of course. Admittedly, I'm a very idealistic person. I believe in the power of good intentions and positive thinking. So if your perspective is more on the cynical side, you might struggle with all of this. It's not as exciting as cultivating a hostile plot and exacting revenge on anyone who dares to cross you. But what do you get out of that? If you ask me, you get nothing but drama and commotion in your life. In the wise words of Miss Sweet Brown, ain't nobody got time for that.
If you're a peace seeker like me, choose differently. Others can betray you, but only you can betray your own peace of mind. Tweet This
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GG Renee Hill is a freelance writer and blogger under the influence of three children and a passion for emotional health. She writes about being authentic, creative and inspirational without denying your instincts -- no matter how irreverent or unpretty they may be. On her blog, she celebrates all the many layers that make women the beautiful contradictions that they are. Find out more on her blog, All the Many Layers or connect with her on twitter @GGReneeWrites.