My Battle Fighting Fibroid Tumors3/01/2013
1:15 a.m. Tonight I cried in the shower asking God for strength to endure my menstrual cycle this ...
1:15 a.m. Tonight I cried in the shower asking God for strength to endure my menstrual cycle this week. I can't sleep for anxiety of having an accident in the bed. Underneath me is a thick blanket just in case I sleep longer than an hour. If I don't wake to change sanitary napkins frequently throughout the night I am sure to rise from a pool of blood. It's been five years since I was first diagnosed with fibroid tumors which is one of the most common tumors in the female uterine track.
I had no idea how greatly my life would be impacted as a direct result from their unwarranted occupation inside my body. There are days that I deeply wish I could make them disappear. This is day one of my cycle and my emotions are heightened, my attention span shortened and my spirit weighted. After five years I still weep alone in silence as I did the first day I learned of them residing inside of me.
Many of my friends have had surgery within a year of finding out as they have the luxury of health insurance. My story is very different in that the path of steadfast endurance is wearisome and lonely. It is one of the most stressful times of the month and it always seems to come around too fast and stay too long. I know of all the places that I have had public accidents where I couldn't get to a restroom in time to prevent soiling my pants. I still see the blood hitting the floor in Walgreens, as soon as I entered the store I had to exit without the items I came to purchase. The gushing flow is so unpredictable I've experienced explosions at the airport, friend's houses, car seats, public facilities etc...
One of my worst encounters was at my mother's home a few months ago it literally looked like a crime scene and I was the victim. It was at the beginning of a new cycle and I had no clue what was about to happen because typically I'm heavier on day two through five. I felt the blood clots about to move which awakened me around midnight. I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough. Before I knew it, blood covered the entire floor. I screamed hysterically! My clothes were ruined and I had no towels to wrap up in. I was visiting my mother and she heard me crying to the top of my lungs as she rushed in the bathroom she saw a grown woman who appeared helpless as a child.
I will never forget that night because I gained a new appreciation for the love my mother has for me. She wiped up every drop as I showered weeping for two hours. It was embarrassing and one of the most humiliating experiences I have ever had. At that moment, I wanted to talk to someone who understood this silent struggle. Who could I call? Who would relate, especially at that hour? In my distress, I had to focus on something bigger! I texted my web designer and asked her to create a help line for women who are fighting internal issues.
I know that my situation will change and my story will inspire others who are challenged with their own unique health issues. I believe in divine healing and miracles. It is my faith in God that keeps me strong when I am at my weakest point. In the words of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
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Kristie Kennedy, is a Women's Beauty, Business, Brilliance and Body Image Speaker. She is a licensed Esthetician by trade and her how to videos are showcased on Tyra Banks,www.typef.com and Ehow Style.com. For more information, visit www.kristiekennedy.com