Don't Punish Every Man for the Mistake of One

by Jordan Hamilton We all know that one man who is a deadbeat; whether he be a father, husband or ...

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by Jordan Hamilton

We all know that one man who is a deadbeat; whether he be a father, husband or boyfriend. The man who impregnated a woman and didn’t live up to his fatherly duties, or the man who cheats in his relationships. I’m sure as you read those first two sentences someone popped right in your head. The person brings back memories and reminds you how much you hate black men. Do you really hate them or do you just hate the mistake a black man you once knew made?

As black women we can sometimes be hard on the brothas, especially when it comes time for Father’s Day. Ladies, we know that not every man is a good man, but don’t punish them all for the mistakes of a few. Twitter was a total nightmare this past Father's Day. The tweets were beyond disrespectful and caught me slightly off guard. Some tweets were bashing fathers, some were bashing baby daddy’s and some were bashing men in general. I can understand where the pain comes into play, but all black men are far from alike.

Every single Father’s Day, the fathers who do their job don't get enough credit. When it comes time for Mother’s Day, it’s all love. Of course there is no love like a mother's love, but everyone needs a father in their life, especially women.The utter disrespect of those who were tweeting such negativity. The fact that some parents may have passed or whatever the case may be didn’t really cross anyone’s mind.

While all the black man bashing was going on, where was the recognition for the men who have been there since day one? Great black men such as Barack Obama, Will Smith, Jay-Z, Carmelo Anthony, my father and even your father. They were overlooked because we are too stubborn to see the good past the bad.

As African American women we are royalty, referred to as Queens. You can’t have Queens without a Kings. Too bad there’s no point in wearing the crown of a Queen if we can’t even take the time out to uplift the King. The male bashing has got to come to an end ladies. We have all been hurt, lied to and rejected, but that man doesn’t define every other man in the world.

The old saying says, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. Just because every man is African American, don’t compare him to that man that hurt you in the past. A father figure is supposed to be the epitome of a great man despite his faults.

If only we were as quick to compliment and uplift black men as we are to bash them, life would be a lot more peaceful. Quit bashing the brothas and start complimenting. Find forgiveness in your heart. Mend those relationships, no matter how bad it may hurt. We constantly complain about men bashing women on so many different levels, but we don’t realize we are doing the exact same thing. If we practice what we preach we may be better off in the end. If we appreciate them more, they will learn to appreciate us.



Jordan Hamilton is a Maryland native and soon to be New York City resident. She graduated from the University of Maryland Eastern Shore with a Bachelors Degree in English. She enjoys spending her freedom reading up on the blogs and online shopping.  

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