Why He's Really in the Friend Zone

by Makeda Lewis Over the years, I’ve seen countless articles, Facebook statuses, tweets, and Ins...

 photo black-man-and-woman-just-friends-1.jpg
by Makeda Lewis

Over the years, I’ve seen countless articles, Facebook statuses, tweets, and Instagram pictures about guys getting ‘stuck in the friend zone.’ At first glance my thought was always ‘aww, poor guy.’ Then my next thought was ‘I wish someone would tell him she’s just not that attracted to him.’ But I didn’t want to be the douchebag that delivers the bad news so I never said anything.

But what if I was wrong? What if it didn’t have all that much to do with attraction but more so about what he was doing, which made him unattractive? Maybe at the exact moment when you decide whether you want him as a friend or not, attraction was - ehh - third on your list. Perhaps then, there might be a small light (a dim light, but a light nonetheless) at the end of the tunnel.

So, to test my theory, I texted about 15 female friends of mine. I told them that I felt that guys got ‘stuck’ because their female friend wasn’t that attracted to them. I then asked if they felt that’s true based on their life experiences and what other factors might have contributed to their decision to keep a guy as a platonic friend.

At this point I would like to suggest to all males reading this to grab a box of tissues. Or a handkerchief. And please have a seat.

She’s just not all that attracted to you. 99% of responses gave lack of attraction as the main reason why their guy friends don’t leave the platonic zone. But that wasn’t the only reason given. Below I list some of the most interesting responses. And for the sake of their future careers, all quotes will forever stay anonymous.

“95% of the time I’m not physically attracted to them and the other 5% of the time it’s b/c their annoying (but part of it is b/c they keep nagging me, and I don’t find them attractive).

“Yup. Or 1) he’s a hoe 2) Doesn’t push me mentally 4) He’s isn’t motivated 5) All of the above.

“Well…yeh basically…can’t think of any other reason”

“Yeh it’s true. Then there are the ones who I just saw no future with. For lack of ambition, some bad habit, a baby mama…you know”

Then there was this text.

“The idea that if a girl doesn’t like a guy, that he’s doing something wrong and over the years can ‘convince’ her is just stupid. If a girl doesn’t like you, she says lets be friends. *****s need to just get over it and stop trying to ‘conquer’ women that just don’t want them.”

In other words…you’re not sexy enough to be aggravating. Also, pull up your zipper, read a book and find a hobby. Then you might have a shot. Or not.

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