Don’t Call That Man! Tips on How to Keep Him And Your Sanity


Just the other day my girlfriend called me very distraught about a situation that had happened between her and a man that she had been dating. He pursued her very aggressively and they have been seeing each other for about two months, talking on the phone or going out on a daily basis.

My friend was very comfortable with where this “relationship” was going.

Side Note: I use my “quotation fingers” for the word “relationship” because “he” had kind of never agreed to be in a “relationship.” She just kind of figured for the amount of time they spent on the phone and going out that it was going into a “relationship.” And this is where the problem started. This was the foundation of the “relationships” demise.

Another Side Note: Ladies (and hear read me VERY carefully), if a guy HAS NOT agreed to be in a “relationship” with YOU specifically… (Insert drum roll here)….. YOU’RE NOT in a “relationship” with him. So don’t assume just because you guys have been LIVING THE VIDA LOCA and cozying up for a few months that he’s exclusively seeing just you. This is a talk that requires both of your responses…not just YOUR vivid imagination. Just FYI.

Soooo, he tells her that he’s going to call her back in 20 minutes one day and she didn’t hear from him for four days.

She went insane.

I mean like “Swim Fan” insane.

She went from a very classy woman to a psycho, killer, crazy, serial phone caller lady.

She called him several times on the first day and when day two rolled around she called even more, but this time implementing the texting ammunition. On the third day it got worse when she went all “mass murderer” on him and on day number four; he answered his phone and acted like nothing had ever happened.

Never mentioning why he didn’t answer or return her calls and he never questioned if there was an emergency.

Side Note: Because surely it should have been an emergency if you call someone over 20 times (and I’m sure it was more), right?

Another Side Note: And then I got confused that women still did things like this:(

Her first mistake was being a psycho, killer, crazy, serial phone caller lady. Not only did she portray herself as unstable, she also didn’t get the answers or response she wanted from this fella.

Now, I know for a FACT that my girlfriend isn’t the only chick out here calling a guy way too many times in the dating phase of a “situation” so let me give you the pointers I gave her:

When a guy STOPS answering your phone call, he just simply doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. His phone wasn’t broke and he wasn’t in the emergency room, he just DOESN’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

As rude and inconsiderate as it seems…as disrespectful as we THINK it is, it’s okay for him to do that because you aren’t in a “relationship” with him.

Side Note: Stop living in a fantasy world of imaginary boyfriends. (I.e. Just cause you live with a man doesn’t make him your “husband.”) Nuff said!

Now if you were this guy’s girlfriend, I’m sure he would have NEVER done this to you in the first place, but he did because you’re not.

Side Note: The phone could either be a weapon of mass destruction or a magic wand in your journey to winning the guy you’re interested in over. THE FASTER YOU LEARN THIS, THE SOONER YOU’LL BE TO LIVING A SANE AND PEACEFUL LIFE.

Men and women view the phone very differently.

Men use the phone more for business purposes (especially if he’s getting money like he’s suppose to be) *Pauses*(just for a second so that you can reexamine your “situation” if he’s not. Again…step your game up!). And women use the phone as a social tool because we fall in love through our ears.

So if you’re a chick that has been dating a man for a few months and think that you’re in a relationship with him but you’re not quite sure …

Side Note: This doesn’t count for the women who are dating men that have BLATANLY told you that he wasn’t interested in having a girlfriend “right now” aka “never with YOU.” That just makes YOU stupid.

…and he’s kind of cut you off, you can redeem yourself from calling him too much and looking desperate.

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