I’ve made a lot of questionable decisions; ones that made me wonder ‘what if’ for a long time. Being able to put those to rest for me lately has been crucial to me chasing dreams and moving forward. 

I left my first college after dealing with some personal issues. Almost transferred to one of the biggest universities in the country but decided against it. I tried to transfer to a few other schools unsuccessfully but it just wasn’t meant to be. 

I always wondered what my life could have been had I made some different decisions. 

I finally put all the ‘what ifs’ to rest after I recently visited said university that I decided not to attend. As I stepped on campus, I felt like I’d made the right decision to choose another school. It was very awkward being there, overwhelming and I had never been happier with the decisions I’ve made in my life up to this point. I decided to let all the ‘what ifs’ go and live life as if I’d never get another moment like this again, because I won’t. 

Read: Identity Crisis: Unanswered Questions of Young Black Womanhood

Sometimes we let a few ‘what if’ moments ruin ‘what is’. The ‘what if’ moments take away from reality, and from being able to enjoy the present. They also take away from everything we’ve accomplished up to this point. 

If you feel like all you’ve done is make bad decisions? Wondering ‘what if’ doesn’t change anything. It just takes away focus from making better decisions from this day forward. It takes away from the gift that is today. 

Read: The Power of Goodbye: When to Let Go and When to Say No

Each day that you are alive, is a gift. Each day that you are alive, is another day to make better decisions. Make up in your mind that you’re not going to make any decisions that leave you wondering ‘what if’. The ‘what ifs’ that you wonder about allow you to remember what regret feels like, so you don’t continue to live your life that way. 

There are no do-overs in life. You get second chances, and third chances, but no two moments are the same. Each chance comes with a new set of challenges, a new set of choices to choose from, and another chance to make a new decision. Embrace that. Enjoy it. Let nothing hold you back from fully living. 

Read: A Black Girls Guide: From Fear to Freedom

You are exactly where you are supposed to be, mistakes and all. Regrets give us wisdom and experience but if held on to, they sabotage life’s greatest opportunities. Seize the day you are currently living in, and let go of regrets. Learn from them, move on from them and step into a bright future. 

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A self-proclaimed city kid hailing from the midwest, Deidre Gadsden can usually be found either on her computer typing away or with a notebook and a pen in her hand when she's not at work. Deidre lives in Cleveland, OH with her husband. You can follow her random, never-a-dull-moment commentary on twitter @ScoutsHonor21 and check out her blog atmissdei.wordpress.com.