Mr. Consistency: Waiting For a Love I Can Depend On

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Originally posted at Table 4 One

I’ve learned several things about myself over the last few months and have been trying to become more open and compromising when it comes to dating. However, the one thing I’ve learned that I cannot tolerate while getting to know someone is inconsistency.

Consistency shows many things, responsibility, integrity, loyalty and most importantly, it builds trust. That’s the whole point of dating, right? To get to know someone, to learn their character and discover whether they are someone you could potentially build a relationship with… And constant inconsistency could ruin all of that. It can be super confusing and ruin the whole fun of the process, plus I am too impatient to deal with it.

I’ve never had a problem letting you all know my dating struggles…and trust seems to be the biggest one. As I think about what allows me to let my guard down when dating someone, it is most definitely, without a shadow of a doubt… CONSISTENCY!

Have you ever interacted with a person and they acted one way, then the next day or time you see them, their interaction with you is completely different? Well, if you haven’t, be grateful because it’s pretty frustrating and confusing!

I had a “friend” who confused THE HELL out of me! When we were in a certain setting he was very open and conversational even playful and flirty… I really liked this guy! He was fun to be around and showed interest in me… What girl wouldn’t want that?!? Then there was the other side of him that was very quiet and closed off. He was not flirtatious, nor did he show me any interest. He’s insultingly “friendly” (if that makes any sense).

I am completely confused by these “two people” because neither one of them was consistent! LOL! I don’t know if the “closed off him” was a defense mechanism to stop himself from opening up or if the “open him” was saying what he thought I wanted to hear (to get my cookie)!

Situations like this make it harder and harder for me to want to seriously try and date someone, because I am afraid! I’m not usually a risk taker and although I am a hopeless romantic, I am also very fearful of heartbreak. But I still have a very positive outlook on my future and am excited for what’s to come. Is consistency too much to ask for?

I want to trust the people I date, but they have to give me a reason to and consistency is the first step! I will continue to date because it’s so much fun! But, I’ll definitely be grateful for the man who gives me good reason (or should I say reasons) to let my guard down! Until then…

I'll be optimistically waiting...

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On Being Black, Beautiful, Successful….and Single
How I Learned to Accept the Love I Knew I Deserved
Where Is The (Black) Love?

Courtney Nicole, 28, single, blogger

I am a recently single woman who has found it extremely therapeutic to write about the experiences I've faced after being single for the first time in 5 years. I am not a "male-bashing", "woe is me", feeling sorry for myself single woman, I am learning to take it all in. Writing my blog Table for One is simply keeping me grounded and sane while I wait!

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