What We Learned From Beyonce This Weekend

Photo credit: New York Daily News

Beyonce Queen of the Universe (Oprah's words not ours) revealed more of herself than anyone ever would have thought this weekend in an interview with Oprah and her self-directed documentary which premiered on HBO.

Ashleigh of Ashleigh Not Ashleigh concisely summed up the reasons why we enjoyed her revelations :

Her Love For Women

Beyonce has never admitted to being feminist but it’s safe to say that she has some feminist leanings. Throughout the documentary her love for other women was so evident. She spoke on how important sisterhood was to her and how unfair it is for our society to be so patriarchal. She isn’t an academic. She isn’t a writer nor an activist but she was speaking some truth all up and through that documentary. I don’t think she gets the credit she deserves. For the past week, she has been blasted for calling her latest tour the “Mrs. Carter Tour” and I’m sure she will get dragged for it and that’s part of the reason I am writing this post. Not to stan. Not to make excuses and close a critical eye. I have and will continue to criticize figures like Beyonce but I also like to give props where props are due.

Her and Her Husband

The way she talked about him and their on-camera interactions were beautiful. She has been criticized heavily because people assume she bases her identity on what man she is attached to and honestly, I don’t see that at all. Black love is and always has been revolutionary act, especially PUBLIC black love. Day after day, I hear and see stories about how there aren’t black men to marry, black women aren’t marriageable and black love just doesn’t exist anymore. I could write a whole post about that and I probably will one day. I say all that to say, we need as many positive images and possible. Not to mention, it’s just nice to see how strong their love is.

We walked away from the documentary in awe of the genuine bond Bey shares with her husband. Who doesn't want to sing Coldplay to their spouse on a boat in Venice? According to Kia, there are a few lessons to be learned from their love story:

1) Keep your relationship private. Don’t involve the public, don’t involve family and don’t involve friends. When you put boundaries around your relationship, people learn to respect your privacy. You don’t need everyone’s opinion, so don’t open the door for folks to share their opinions.

2) Friendship is so necessary. It should be the foundation of your relationship. I love when Beyoncé said, “Just to have someone that you just like is so important.” Sex can’t be the foundation of your relationship. Money can’t be the foundation of your relationship. Social status can’t be the foundation of your relationship. But friendship MUST be the foundation of your relationship.

3) You can be strong and independent yet love and adore your man. Let’s stop making loving your man the antithesis of an independent woman. It’s not. Women shouldn’t feel guilty about being able to hold things down on their own, yet choosing to conquer life with the man they love by their side. You can have both, ladies. Don’t let society tell you differently.

Ultimately we learned that no matter how she tries, Beyonce Knowles isn't like you and me. She's exceptionally talented, obscenely rich, and unfathomably famous. Some of her problems and fears are familiar to all, but the scale and scope in which she lives her life is nearly inconceivable. That's perfectly fine. We don't need our superstars to be accessible. All we need is for Bey to keep delivering performances like this one, and we'll be happy.

Related:

Celebrities Won't Save Feminism So Leave Beyoncé Alone
The Beyonce Doctrine: Thoughts on Womanhood, Marriage & Money
Beyonce Comes Out as A Feminist

What did you learn from Bey?