I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and it was beautiful. Normally, I wouldn’t be too excited about going to a wedding, as a single woman (with no date). But this one, in particular, was one I had been looking forward to attending for a while.
As my ridiculously beautiful friend walked down a gorgeous staircase to take the hand of her soon-to-be husband, I was filled with joy and thoughts of well-wishes for the happy couple. This was surprising to me, not because it was an unusual feeling to have, but because I had prepared myself for feelings of envy and sadness for myself and when that didn’t happen, it was a complicated feeling.
It makes me feel horrible and selfish, inconsiderate and rude to know that I had actually prepared myself to feel this way. And on top of that, it didn’t even happen. I love this couple. They are my friends, so don’t get me wrong, the feelings I thought I would have were completely personal and had nothing to do with my being happy for them and wishing them the best.
I don’t know about you, but there was a time in my life (and it actually wasn’t that long ago) where I would take the things that were happening to other people in their lives and make it about me. I would ask myself why they were chosen to have “whatever” happened to them instead of me. How selfish is that?
Well, I’m better, I’m happy! I’m accepting and content with where my experiences have placed me, not only physically but emotionally, as well.
The experience of being unselfishly happy for my friends was amazing! I was so surprised with how refreshing it was to just be happy for someone else and not worry about the “have not’s” in my own life. I cried tears of joy for them, instead of tears of sorrow for myself. How great is that? I am still happy for them and know that they will have all their hearts’ desire.
Forgive my excitement, but to finally be content with where I am in life has been a long time coming. And until a "Mr." finds me and wants to call me his "Mrs." simply call me Mrs. Contentment.
Friday, October 26, 2012
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