10 Traits of a Woman Who Loves Herself

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I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating: You’ve got to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to. But what you don’t often hear is how to love yourself. What does a person who loves herself look like? Here are ten identifying traits:

1. She is secure with herself. She accepts herself as she is-flaws and all—but she seeks to gradually make improvements where practical. Wide nose, skinny legs, kinky hair—whatever others may tease her for, she is proud of and embraces herself for who she is. She knows she is a work-in-progress. She has self-confidence and doesn’t feel “less than” when in the company of others who may be (or seem) more accomplished, attractive, or richer than she is.
2. She understands her worth and acts as such. She has a healthy self-respect, earns the respect of others with her behavior and demeanor, and expects the same in return. She doesn’t allow people to waste her time, whether it’s a friend, a date, or a partner in business. She doesn’t settle for a romantic partner who mistreats or neglects her. She treats herself well, and pampers herself.

3. She’s healthy. She takes care of her hygiene and enjoys things that make her look and feel good. She gets a proper amount of rest, eats a healthy diet overall, and maintains an active lifestyle. She doesn’t engage in thoughtless acts of casual, unprotected sex, or reckless alcohol or drug use.

4. She forgives herself for her mistakes. She doesn’t engage in negative self-talk or put herself down. She diffuses negative thoughts with righteous ones (affirmations). She’s patient with her progress in life, setting goals and giving herself room to grow.

5. She celebrates her successes. She doesn’t downplay her achievements and milestones. She also takes the time to enjoy the fruits of her hard work.

6. She surrounds herself with positive, uplifting people, and limits toxic influences. She knows her success is directly proportional to the kind of company she keeps, so she avoids or eliminates toxic people from her life who seek to take from her and give nothing in return. (Too many withdrawals without deposits will leave you with a negative balance!) Tweet This!

7. She is connected to her Creator. She spends quiet time with her Creator regularly and is aware of the soft, still voice inside her that guides her decisions.

8. She finds time to relax and enjoy herself. She doesn’t go too long without engaging in a social activity or trip (either alone or with good friends) where she can let her hair down and have some fun.

9. She invests in her future. She doesn’t spend more than she has (living above her means), or abuse credit. She has (or is building) an emergency fund, retirement nest egg, and follows a personal financial plan so she won’t have to work all her life.

10. She gives back to others. She volunteers to share her time and talents, and supports charities. (Money is only one part of giving back.)

Now that you see self-love defined, where do you see yourself? How do you fare? Do you love yourself? Take some time to reflect on how you feel.


Self-Love: Planting The Seed To See What Blooms
7 Steps to Financial Harmony Through Self-Love and Awareness
What's So Wrong About Checking the "Single" Box?

Excerpted with permission from Daree Allen  . Purchase your copy of What's Wrong With Me?: A Girl's Book of Lessons Learned, Inspiration and Advice (Kharacter Distinction Books 2012).

Daree Allen, MS is an authorpreneur, young adult esteem advocate, inspirational speaker, and goal-getter in Atlanta, GA. She has published articles on a variety of topics as a freelance writer and blogger, and is the author of the new teen mentoring book series entitled "What's Wrong With Me?," in which she discusses her own childhood dealing with self-esteem, media influence, premarital sex, family and personal relationships, and gives advice to teens on the same. Find out more about her work at www.dareesinsights.wordpress.com and www.DareeAllen.com.

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