Reap What You Sow: Why I'm Not Mad at Porsha

Until NeNe Leakes became one of the most insufferable characters I've had the misfortune of wat...

 photo Porsha-and-Kenya.jpg
Until NeNe Leakes became one of the most insufferable characters I've had the misfortune of watching on television, Porsha Williams and Kenya Moore were my two least favorite cast members on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Both women are beautiful and self-absorbed, traits I normally appreciate in reality TV stars, but Porsha's ditziness and Kenya's maliciousness make them difficult to stomach.

But ultimately Porsha is harmless because of her dullness whereas Kenya's provocations and attention-seeking make her particularly irksome.

Weeks ago when news broke about a fight on set of the Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, I can't say that I was surprised. If Kenya's antics drained me as a viewer, I can only imagine the toll they would take for those on the receiving end.

Something must have transpired between the filming of the last episode when the women came together to congratulate Porsha and Kandi on a successful performance in Kandi's musical production because the tension amongst the cast members was palpable from the start of the first part of a three part reunion special.

Insults were hurled, names called, and shade thrown, but things devolved quickly when Kenya began wielding props, including a scepter (because's she a beauty queen, get it?) and a bull horn in Porsha's direction.

Kenya stepped over a line by invading both Cynthia and Porsha's personal space, and while watching, I wondered why no producers stepped in to redirect the foolishness.

The friction continued to escalate until Kenya proclaimed Porsha to be a "dumb ho" through the aforementioned bullhorn. Porsha then approached Kenya, tugged her hair, and flung her to the ground.

The violent outcome of the exchange was wholly unsurprising. Words are never just words. Those who perpetuate verbal violence often do so without repercussion, and Kenya expected to violate Porsha's person and hurl insults without consequence.

That is why so many came down in Porsha's favor. Instigators don't always walk around from confrontations unscathed, and this time Kenya did not.

Though I encourage everyone, adults and children alike, to work to settle their differences without putting hands on each other, I see no hypocrisy in saying that although I wish the situation would have been resolved in a different manner, I'm not mad at Porsha. She snapped, and clearly regretted the decision.

And no, Porsha's behavior does not set me or any Black woman back. Men and women of all races have been fighting on TV for decades.

Frankly, the quickness with which the other cast members rallied around Porsha after the incident was one of the most genuine moments of sisterhood we've seen on the show.

Immediately after the dragging, Bravo executive and on-air personality Andy Cohen told Kenya, "I absolutely did not think that would happen." While Andy may have been sincere in his regret, he and Bravo profit from amplifying the drama that the franchise is founded on. They are not without responsibility.

Clearly, though, Porsha is a grown woman now facing criminal charges, and she should be held responsible for lacking self-control .

I just cannot offer a full embrace or rebuke of Porsha's actions on set that day. All I can say is, it wasn't right, but I understand.

Kimberly Foster is the founder and editor of For Harriet. Email or

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